Stepping In My Stilettos:
Thank you for pretending to be “concerned” about my soul, but you can keep your concerns to yourself. You listened to me so attentively while I shared with you my struggles, hoping you’d give me direction, wisdom, and clarity. I realize now, that you were simply taking notes so that you’d have something to gossip about later. I know we all have our struggles; and though gossip may be your struggle, I’d like to think that you would at least feel some type of conviction before you’d open your mouth to speak against others. You pretended to be a friend, but you can’t be trusted. With one hand you were there to lift me up from a place of despair and confusion, but with the other hand you held my confessions as weapon to bash me with later. Am I supposed to respect you? …As what? We have all fallen short and missed the mark (Romans 3:23); but to whom much is given much is required right? (Luke 12:48) You are held to a higher standard, and its people like you who make the church as a whole look bad. A hypocrite is NOT a person who humbly struggles to correct their flaws, rather the person who pretends to have none while judging others for theirs. Read Luke 18:9-14 lately? I’d just love to tell you about yourself, remind you of who you are, and take you on a jog down memory lane. I want to tell you off so badly! But I can’t. God won’t allow me, because then I would be wrong! At some point, you were anointed to preach the Gospel of Christ and I cannot touch God’s anointed. I’ll pray for you though. I’ll pray that one day, your actions will be spirit led and that you get to a point of growth where you will no longer hurt the people in God’s Kingdom. I’ll pray that you will be used of God mightily to minister the gospel rather than continuing to administer pain to God’s people in their times of need.
Most of us have at some point been hurt by “church folks and/ or preachers.” It is a sad but very real issue. For this reason, more and more people are withdrawing participation from church buildings and church related activities. There is no “perfect” church organization, so some things are inevitable. Sometimes, it becomes easy to lose respect for our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, or even leaders! You may feel that you received condemnation, neglect, and ridicule rather than comfort, love, and much needed prayers. During times of hurt, its crucial to remember that these people are fleshy humans as well.
Focusing on whatever pain these “church folks and/or preachers” caused or inflicted will only make matters worse. You will become more angry and eventually bitter. Bitterness is a nasty tiny seed that feeds off your emotions and plants its roots deep inside your heart. At first, it’s barely noticable, then out of nowhere, its overtaking you. It consumes your thoughts, influences your behavior, and destroys your perspective. Roots of bitterness start in your heart and rapidly grows outwardly until you are completely wrapped within its grasps, making it hard for anyone to reach you. When someone tries to reach out, their fingertips are met with the callous and coarse textures of the roots surrounding you . Only God can cut through them.
Ahhh, yes. God! The Only way to overcome this pain and destroy the seed of bitterness is to switch your focus. Understand this, we are all fleshy vessels and at any given moment can allow ourselves to be used by either God or by satan. The fight is not, nor has it ever been between you and your fellow believers. This is a battle between God and the devil. Getting believers to strive with one another is satan’s biggest most effective distraction. Mark 3:24 And if a kingdom be divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. Know this, as long as we humans have feelings, they will get hurt. So instead of focusing on who hurt you and why, consider the One who can heal you from all hurt. Consider the One who can rescue you and vindicate you if needed. If you have lost respect for a preacher or minister, reserve your judgement. It is difficult, i know, but this is an area that requires extreme caution. You must be very careful not to bad mouth a preacher, minister, or pastor. (Ps.105:15, 1 Tim 5:5) First, examine yourself, ask God to show you your heart. Are you upset because you want your way, or because they truly aren’t being spirit led based on biblical teachings? I have discovered, that in both scenarios, I needed to fast/ die to myself and my will in order to get my flesh out of the way in order to be able to deal with the situation in an unbiased and non-emotional manner. Once your fleshy desires and emotional ideas have been set aside, you may be prompted to either distance yourself or humble yourself! Neither feels great, let me tell you! Lastly, regardless to which direction you go, remember to earnestly pray for that person. Praying for them out of a sincere heart will prevent you from becoming bitter! Prayer is such a powerful thing, your prayers may even prompt a change in the situation altogether. If it doesn’t change them, it will change you to be able to withstand it! Through prayer, you will obtain the grace you need to bear it all.
Till next time pray for me as I pray for you… Father, fix my eyes on you and grant me grace to bear it all. -Lana
Here’s an article that i thought was great when i was dealing with this: